Of Sea Fish and Onion Uthappas

It was another sunday morning and i got up late, not that i always get up early as most of you people are aware of.

Bad news was that our regular fish vendor in the TVS moped hadnt turned up,so i decided to visit the market to buy fish.

As most of you guys know we Mangaloreans are crazy about sea fish( it takes a lot of effort to keep us off from other peoples aquariums) and i am on the higher side of craziness when it comes to seafish.

Now the two women in my house, my better half and my mom knowing my weakness warned me of not getting carried away and buy sensibly.

They do this half heartedly as they know they are fighting a losing battle because everytime i do the opposite and bring in a whole lot.

I lose control when i see the fish lying there to be picked up, so inviting and so tempting.

Its like letting a woman free in a gold shop or a saree shop.

I feel like a bull in a china shop , only i dont destroy those lovely beings. And One time in Malpe port where the boats were bringing in fresh fish from the boats, they had to literally drag me to the car and make a fast getaway.

Its like in the movies , mainly like Inception, i forget the real world and am in a surreal dream world when i see fish lying around.

Now the main fish market in Mysore is a small one and has only 3 to 4 shops that deal with seafish, the reason being the locals arent great lovers of seafish, thank God for small mercies.

So you find yourself jostling with fellow Mangaloreans and keralites who have some thoughts similar about the fish.

The shopowner of the particular one i visit is a Malayali but can speak tulu fluently and knows me well.

I guess he has senses my weakness and he lets me linger in his shop as long as i like and attends to me only when i ask him to.

After taking a long time having various thoughts in my mind about what to buy and what not to i decide on three items .

Now my taste in fish varieties turns to be expensive and i realise that only when the shopowner punches on his calculator, The amount turns out to be vulgar enough to give a mini heart attack but nobody cares or gives a second glance when i hand over the money and take my prized possession.

There might be many people similar and more crazier than me who come into his shop on sundays i come to the conclusion.

Happy with my conquests and as i am driving back to home a call from my wifey informs that she wants me to purchase onions on the way back.

Now as most of you married men know, you can ignore or forget anything but your wives requests(orders) It is highly risky to do so.

Grocery shopping in my house is always done by my dad and i rarely take the risk. I knew from the papers and TV that onions were expensive but did not have the idea as to how much.

i stopped at a small grocery store and quite a few customers were busy buying stuff. The shop is owned by a North Indian guy and was being helped by his pretty wife. After dealing with 2 other customers the guy attended me and then the golden words came out of my mouth- 2 kgs of onions please ...

There was silence all over like something very rare had happened and everybody including his pretty wife stared at me in disbelief . It was as if time stood still and i began to feel like a star.
In my mind i silently thanked Sharad Pawar for making me a super hero.Onions which was such a common thing until recenty has suddenly made me a star.

Suddenly i was reminded of all onion jokes like that Men werenow proposing their women with onion rings.

How at Dhabhas now Roti is supplied free if you order onions.

The most favourite one going around is consdiering the amount Robin Uthappa was bought by Pune warriors in the recent Ipl auction, he should be renamed Onion Uthappa .

Now i am a Huge fan of Robin and RCB, it was disheartening to see him snared by the Pune team.

He is an explosive batsman and can tear into any bowling attack and influence the result on his day but the problem is his days come very rarely and knowing Vijay Mallyas shrewdness it remains to be seen whether its the Pune team or the Bangaloreans who shed tears because of this Onion Uthappa..